Friday, August 25, 2006

The Stupid Hostages Got Released Day!

You met Sandy at the police barricade in front of the bank robbery. She told you she couldn't see, so you stepped aside and let her squeeze in front of you at your place at the barricade.

'Think they'll start throwing out bodies?' she asked you.

'I just hope they don't throw any at me,' you said. She laughed.

As the hours passed with no progress made in the hostage negotiation, the crowd behind you and Sandy grew too large to be contained behind that barricade. It seemed like the whole city was pouring out onto the sidewalk across from that bank, waiting to see if it all ends in a shootout. All of the shoving and pressing forward pinned you up against Sandy's back. You continued talking though, as if there was nothing at all odd about your bodies being pasted together within hours of speaking your first words to each other.

'I don't think this is going to end well,' she said, staring at the bank.

'But we just met,' you said.

Sandy turned around and faced you so that her front was pasted up to your front and she had to lift her face up to yours to keep from talking into your chest.

'I mean the hostages,' she said. 'I don't think they're going to make it.'

'I don't either,' you said, staring down into her blue eyes.

You never spoke again after that. She kept her face turned up to yours and you closed your eyes and leaned down to kiss her. Then the stupid hostages got released. The doors flung open and all these dumb, ugly, smelly hostages came running out with their arms in the air screaming don't shoot. Then the hostage-takers came out with their hands in the air and they got tackled by the police. The crowd went crazy and rushed the barricade. Sandy got torn away from you and within seconds there was a street full of people between the two of you. You never saw her again, and you never made it to her lips.

Now you're watching the news for crowd scenes, hoping to get a look at her again. You're flipping from channel to channel, scanning the faces, wishing that the gunmen had simply opened fire so you and Sandy could have fallen to the street together for cover. Instead, they had to be wussies and set everyone free and drag her away from you. Are all those lives really worth you staying alone for who knows how many more years?

'Stupid hostages,' you'll mutter to the TV, quiet enough to not wake your mother who is sleeping on the couch next to you.

Happy The Stupid Hostages Got Released Day!