Sunday, March 14, 2004

Big Sid Day!

You need a favor, you go to Big Sid. Everyone in the neighborhood knows that Big Sid is the man to get things done. But everyone also knows that Big Sid always expects a favor in return. If you're willing to accept that, go see Big Sid. But be respectful.

"Thank you for meeting with me today Mr. Big Sid. I know you're very busy."

Big Sid will speak through a mouthful of pomegranate. "Nonsense," he'll say. "I'm always happy to help an upstanding member of this community. What's the problem?"

"Well, I want you to get my neighbor to stop his dog from crapping in my driveway."

"Consider it done," Big Sid will say.

"Oh, thank you so much Big Sid."

"But you understand that one day I will come to you for a favor as well," Big Sid will say.

"Yes, anything Big Sid. Anything."

Big Sid will say, "On April 20th, I want to have sex with your wife."

You'll be flabbergasted. "My wife?"

"Don't tell me you expect a favor from me without wishing to repay me for my efforts. This displeases Big Sid."

"No, no," say. "I would never wish to disrespect you Big Sid."

"Good," Big Sid will say. "On April 20th, I'll come over and have sex with your wife. Enjoy your driveway."

Happy Big Sid Day!