Back To The Basics Day!
When you wake up with your face in your pillow, say "Fuck you pillow." Slip your legs out onto the floor and tell each floor board to "Go fuck yourself fuckin floorboard" until you get into the bathroom to give your toilet the finger. Before you sit down and take a shit, give your medicine cabinet an up-yours arm-slap. Take a shit, but before you flush, lean down close to the bowl and whisper to your log of shit that it is a miserable wad of uselessness and that it is poor. Flush the toilet, waving goodbye to your shit as if you were taunting a man about to be hanged. Then go beat the shit out of your coffeemaker.
Happy Back To The Basics Day!