Friday, January 24, 2003

Go And Stand Underneath His Or Her Window But Just Don't Do The Only Thing You Wanna Do Day!

That's right, it's a public sidewalk. And since he or she doesn't live above a 7-11, there's no "No Loitering" sign to be found so there's no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to stand staring up at his or her window until Easter Sunday if you wanted. Of course, one phone call to the police will send a squad car over to tell you to move it along or stick em up, "No Loitering" sign or no "No Loitering" sign. Policemen find people who stand still suspicious.

But so what? Stay right there with your eyes on that window until the heat comes around the corner. Crane your neck back and stare and glare and whisper all the swear words you want. Or, if it's raining, droop your head to the ground so when he or she catches sight of you it looks like the rain has pounded you so hard you can't hold your skull on your neck any longer. Do a dance, recite the pledge of allegiance or use your cell to call up moviefone to see if there's a flick nearby that you can catch when this is all done.

Just don't do the only thing you wanna do.

Don't scream "whore" or "prick" or "dick" or "shitlick" either. Don't spraypaint the sidewalk or the front door or the superintendent's street level window with the words "There's a lying, manipulative, impotent puddle of excrement fouling up the air in apartment 3W." Don't throw your half-finished 40 of malt liquor up in the air to crash with a splash to the right of that bedroom light and don't throw a whole-finished one of those to do that neither. Also don't use everything you learned at the community Y rock climbing class to scale the brick wall up and into his or her bedroom because that would be breaking and entering and that's against the law. Don't scream "I'm sorry" and don't scream "I love you" and please for God's sake don't scream any cute little private nicknames like "Fuzzyfeet" or "Fuzzyhead" or "Fuzzypants" or "Fuzzylips" (ew!). Don't hold a bouquet of roses, you'll look dumb. And don't hold your new spouse's hand, it's a turnoff. Don't fire a gun in the air or at the ground or at your own head or even through the superintendent's street level window.

Believe it or not all of these things
are the things that might win your baby
back by your side

So whatever you do just don't do
the thing you know you'll never do

Because you wanna do it so goddamn badly.

You came to the window to stand below it emptyhanded and emptyhanded is the way you will leave. Now beat it.

Happy Go And Stand Underneath His Or Her Window But Just Don't Do The Only Thing You Wanna Do Day!