Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Fess Up Day!

When the chick behind the starbucks counter is making your drink, she'll say, "I smell Chinese Food."

You'll have just had Chinese Food. You'll be embarrassed to stink of your very fragrant lunch, but she'll know it's you. Just cop to it. Say, "I just had Chinese Food."

She'll say, "Did you have an egg roll?"

Say, "No. Beef with broccoli."

Her face will light up and she'll say, "It smells really good. It's making me hungry. I wish you'd brought some for everybody."

Tell her, "Well, I think I still have some residue of it in my mouth. I haven't had anything to drink yet. But I did smoke a cigarette. Actually, yes, now that I am talking, I can feel some little stalks of broccoli loosening from the paste on my tongue."

She'll look around for her supervisor, and if her supervisor isn't there, she'll lean over the counter with her mouth open wide. Gather a heaping glob of saliva from the walls of your mouth and from underneath your gums and spit a big loogie into her open jaw.

She'll swish it around with her tongue then she'll smile a big grateful smile and she'll say, "Thanks. How 'bout I upgrade that Latte to a Venti, no charge."

That's when you should say, "Solid!"

Happy Fess Up Day!