Monday, January 04, 2016

You Share A Cubicle With Your Girlfriend’s Dad Day!

“Mr. Palmer?” you exclaim as he wheels a chair in and places his briefcase on the stretch of desk you’re not occupying.

“When you’re out of work at my age, after a while you take what you can get,” he says. “So I’m back to temping. Don’t tell my daughter.”

It’s pretty weird to work with your girlfriend’s dad every day, especially keeping it a secret from your girlfriend. But he turns out to be the best cubicle mate you’ve ever had. And the two of you are working together to fulfill your daily tasks and you’re meeting your monthly goals with ease and style.

“The dream team,” your supervisors call out to you as they pass your cubicle.

The only problem is the part about not telling your girlfriend that you temp with her dad.

“We work great together, sure,” her dad says to you over lunch one day. “But my daughter can’t know that her dad’s a temp. And I can’t have you lying to my little girl.”

When you end it with her, she wants a reason. You say you two don’t have enough in common, but you say it like it’s a question and you want her to confirm the answer. She says she thinks there’s something more going on.

“Is it because since your mom started working as a pizza delivery girl at our pizza parlor and I’m her boss now?”

You shake your head no. You try “it’s not you, it’s me,” but she doesn’t buy it. You try everything you can to avoid telling her that her dad is a temp, and he’s the best coworker and cubicle mate you ever had.

“Fine,” she says. “But I’m going to make your mom’s life hell. She’s only going to deliver pizzas to bachelor parties and senior citizens living on tight budgets.”

You shrug. “Like I care. Fire her if you want. My mom’s a big girl.”

You know she won’t. She’s told you over and over that your mom’s the best pizza delivery person she ever had. A natural.

If only you could tell her the same about her dad and his admin assistant skills. But it’s better this way. If pushing her out of your life means her dad can do his work unencumbered by the shame of disappointing his daughter or coercing her boyfriend to lie to her, it’s what has to be done. For the cubicle.

Happy You Share A Cubicle With Your Girlfriend’s Dad Day!