Today you’re a college student starting up your sophomore year and you’ve decided to switch it up as regards the identity thing.
“I’m gonna go transgender,” you tell your dad as he drives his hatchback full of your Bed Bath and Beyond bags onto campus. “Or transsexual I mean. Whichever one doesn’t involve me getting my junk chopped up.”
“Sounds like this decision is going to be sending a pretty hefty credit card bill my way,” your dad will say. “New outfits and all.”
“Goddammit why do you have to try and strangle my personality development with your talk of interest rates and finances,” you’ll shout. “The LGBT Union has the coolest parties on campus. Everyone does it right out in the open.”
“Yeah but only the gay guys could be called traditionally attractive,” your Dad will argue.
He’s got a point. The parties might get wild with potential for an orgy breaking out, but there aren’t a whole lot of attendees there that you’d ever want to see naked.
“I wanna transfer to Brown,” you’ll say.
Your Dad will make a U-turn, cursing as he tries to reprogram his GPS for Rhode Island.
Happy College Sophomore Day!