Today while hiking you’re going to get lost in the woods and you’ll meet the boy of your dreams who will also be completely lost.
“At least I found you,” he’ll say.
“A part of me never wants to be found,” you’ll tell him. Then he’ll look down and see your ring.
“Me too,” he’ll say. Then he’ll take his ring out of his pocket and slip it on his finger. He always takes it off when he goes hiking, in case he meets someone out in the woods. Pretty gross, but are you any better?
“Then let’s walk this way,” you’ll say with a wink as you lead him down a barely intelligible path. You’ll wander through the woods together for hours, pretending that here under cover of the trees the vows you made to your spouses can’t find you. But bears can and you’ll both be mauled to death by one because that’s what happens to cheaters. They get mauled by bears.
Happy Lost In The Woods Day!