She didn't seem that sick when you met her at the bar last night. But when you wake up this morning, her side of the bed will be empty. There will be crumpled up tissues everywhere. You'll look around the apartment for her, but no dice. She clearly split while you were asleep. You'll try to shrug it off. This isn't the first one-night stand you found yourself in, but it still stings. You'll go into the bathroom and turn on the light, and that's when you'll learn why she went home with you last night. Written on the mirror in lipstick, the long, jagged, blood-red letters will read:
WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF STREP THROAT!
You've heard about this kind of thing happening to friends of a friend, but you always figured it was just a kind of urban myth. Could there be women out there who go home with men just to infect them with strep throat? Are there strep throat patients who feel so violated at having been infected that they need to exact revenge on the entire sex of the person who infected them? You start to wonder at the politics of sex and romance and whether things have sunk to such a sad level. Then you'll cough a bit. You'll hold your fingers to your throat and you'll have your answer. The glands are swollen.
Hope you enjoy having severe trouble swallowing for the next three days.
Happy Welcome To The World Of Strep Throat Day!