Thursday, December 28, 2006

Be A Surrogate Mother Day!

Working at the Store 24 sucks it. So why not let a rich dentist pay you to get pregnant? You'll get to move out of your sister's living room and go and live in a nice guest bedroom in a big house in the suburbs. It will be kind of a drag to have the dentist's wife hover over you and make you eat a whole lot of stuff that she read about. But you can get her to leave the room and cry if you just say something to make her feel inadequate for not being able to carry her own child. On the whole though, you just have to watch TV and not drink or smoke for nine months and you'll walk away with like twenty grand, which is kind of like hush money to keep you from objecting to the crime against nature you�re going to commit when you give birth to your child and hand it over to a woman who, according to God and all he created, has no business raising this baby she did not sire herself.

If when you have the baby you find you just can't give it up, not to worry. Simply tell the dentist and his wife that you didn't realize it would be this hard and you're sorry. They'll be destroyed and might never recover, and you'll be jobless and penniless with no way of raising a child.

In sum, motherhood will triumph.

Happy Be A Surrogate Mother Day!