Today, you are the creator, screenwriter, director, producer and chief financier of the movie Deck The Halls, starring Matthew Broderick and Danny Devito. Additionally, for today only, you are Matthew Broderick and Danny Devito. Within the confines of these 24 hours, you are solely and completely responsible for the existence of a major motion picture about Christmas decorations. From you came the scene in which Matthew Broderick slides off of a roof and lands in the snow at the foot of a fake elf. From you came the part where Danny Devito takes a giant ceramic Prancer right in the testicles. From you came that one scene where they're in a car about to drive off of a cliff or into a lake or through the bay window of a crowded school for children with multiple sclerosis and instead of trying to turn they both just stare out the windshield and release in unison a hilarious gaping-mouth scream. You are the only reason that this movie exists, and therefore, within the confines of these 24 hours, you are the most detested person on the face of the Earth. And yes, your unparalleled depravity glows so bright, we can even see it from space.
Happy You Made The Movie 'Deck The Halls' Day!