Today in the ditch out behind the circus tent, Steve the Happy Clown beat up Maggie the Sad Clown. He beat her up pretty bad too. She's going to sit out the next few shows. And Steve the Happy Clown is being brought up on charges. He won't be coming back to the show before you pull up stakes and move on to Duluth. Which means...THIS IS YOUR BIG CHANCE! No more spending the whole show running around shooting off confetti bazookas while Steve and Maggie hog the limelight. You're gonna be front and center starting tonight so shine those big floppy shoes and thank your lucky stars that Steve the Happy Clown is such a goddamn maniac. When that big top gets introduced to Marty the Stupid Clown tonight, they'd better be ready to OD on hilarity even faster than Libby the Languorous Clown OD'd on H last month!
Happy Happy Clown Beat Up Sad Clown Day!