Monday, November 27, 2006

Consummate And Die Day!

Immediately after marrying the love of your life, a madman is going to trap the two of you in a pressure-controlled chamber and he'll slowly suck the oxygen from the chamber until the two of you are dead. You need to breathe as little as possible so you have more time to figure out how to get out of there. The trouble is, you're overcome with love for each other and you have been saving yourselves for marriage, thinking that it would be better if you waited. If you choose to consummate your marriage, all that panting and swearing will surely use up far more oxygen than is being allotted you and you'll likely die just after climax. But if you manage to remain chaste in the interest of staying alive long enough to escape, you might fail in your escape attempt and you'll die without ever having physicalized your love. There's no point in telling you what to do since you're both going to be naked and barking in each other's faces in the time it takes to read the first sentence of this post. To each his own, and be sure to pack a lifetime into every touch.

Happy Consummate And Die Day!