Thursday, October 26, 2006

Tell Matt You Don't Want To Be His Accountability Buddy Anymore Day!

You and Matt met at a church group and you both expressed anger at how easily pornography can be accessed over the internet, and what a sad and lonely thing it is that so many people appease their sexual urges by visiting those sites. Matt suggested that you both install Accountability Buddy software, which is set up so that anytime one of you visits a pornographic website, your computer sends an email to the other with the URL of the adult site. Sounded perfect to you, so you went right home and set it all up.

Today you're going to tell Matt that you don't want to be his accountability buddy anymore. Having the software on your computer has helped you to avoid viewing any online pornography, since you couldn't bare to face Matt if he knew what you'd been looking at. Matt, however, has not been able to stay away. In fact, you immediately started receiving two or three emails a day containing long lists of pornographic URLs that he's visited. As the days passed, the list only seemed to grow. His computer was sending yours so many emails that you ended up just automatically sending them all to your spam folder.

The way it's supposed to work out is after you get one of those emails you were supposed to call Matt and confront him. You did that after the first day or two, but then you were getting so many that you didn't know how to deal with it. That's when Matt would call you and ask, 'Did you get a look at that site?' You'd tell him you found the site repulsive, and he'd say, 'Oh yeah, totally. What about the other one? Did you check that out?' The way he always seemed to be out of breath when he spoke made you suspicious that Matt just set this software up because he gets turned on knowing that someone knows what he's masturbating to. Confront him today.

'Heck yes,' Matt will say. 'There's no hotter way to masturbate. You're the one who talked about how lonely it can be to look at web-porn! This is the answer buddy!'

Tell Matt you're not his buddy anymore. He'll grab your lapels and demand to know what he's supposed to do now. 'Those emails can't just go into the ether, man!'

Give Matt the address of a secular support group for men who are addicted to web porn. 'Go to these meetings,' say. 'They can help you.'

You know the meetings are most likely just a bunch of guys looking for other guys to receive their 'I'm looking at porn, check it out!' emails. But at least it's outside the church. For God's sake, get that man's hands away from Christ.

Happy Tell Matt You Don't Want To Be His Accountability Buddy Anymore Day!