Monday, October 09, 2006

Go Hit The Singles Bars And Find Someone To Finally Save Your Life Day!

She'll be standing at the end of the bar, sipping from a vodka tonic. She'll have sad eyes and a scarf that she's taken off and folded up and it sits on the bar next to her coaster. Men will approach and ask her for her company and she'll deflect them with silent grace. She's looking at you though. After each man is sent packing, she looks again at you, her small smile asking 'What are you waiting for?'

'Here's the deal,' you'll say when you finally get the guts to approach her. 'I need to start living for someone else. I've been living for myself for a long time now and I've been crunching the numbers and I'm just not worth it. You know? I'm just not worth the trouble of breathing in and then breathing out again. So I gotta find someone else to live for or I'm gonna hit the road.'

She'll sip from her straw, intrigued.

'Of course, we both still gotta go through the motions and give each other a taste. I know that. But I just gotta put it out there. In the long run I'm looking for someone to live for. So if you're one of these self-sufficient girls who needs her space and just wants someone to sit across from at dinner four nights a week, I better get going. I need a girl who wants her Daddy back. That you?'

'You're very honest,' she'll say. 'I like that.'

'Honest, schmonest,' you'll say. 'You looking for Daddy or not?'

'My father walked out when I was two,' she'll say. 'I've never experienced what it's like to have a Daddy. I'm afraid I've always taken care of myself. And my mom. My men have always complained of feeling unimportant in my life.'

You'll say, 'Crap. You been to Sunset's tonight?' Sunset's is another singles bar three blocks West.

'Sunset's?' she'll say. 'Yes. Um, I have.' She's embarrassed to admit that this is her second stop, alone.'

'Lotta chicks there tonight?' you'll ask.

'Yes,' she'll say. 'Lots.'

'Great!' you'll say. 'And good luck finding a guy who finds value in his accomplishments and doesn't need you to remind him how much you need him all day long.'

'And good luck finding a woman who might as well be drowning,' she'll say. 'Have you tried drug addicts?'

'They feel good for a while. You get to give them all your money and care for them when they get the sickness every Monday. But they don't stick around. G'night then!'

She'll lift her drink in a toast to your journey and you'll head off to Sunset's to try and find yourself a reason.

Happy Go Hit The Singles Bars And Find Someone To Finally Save Your Life Day!