Thursday, January 26, 2006

You Got Hit By A Car Day!

Your girlfriend's not too excited about you not having the use of your legs anymore, so she's going to leave you today.

"For a guy who can walk?" you'll ask.

Of course. Maybe even for a guy who can run, she'll tell you. She didn't go out with you thinking, "I hope one day I'll have to run around the room fetching things for him."

You'll ask, "But didn't the last three years mean anything?"

Of course they did, she'll tell you. You were a completely mobile person over the last three years. She loved your laugh, your money, and most of all, she now realizes, she loved the way you could get up from a chair when you didn't want to be in a chair anymore.

You'll grow angry and shout, "Fine, just go then. Get out of my hospital room," which she'll be one hundred percent stoked about doing since she was afraid she'd have to explain some more stuff and you'd eventually find out that she's actually a government spy who's about to go back undercover and she was looking for a way to cut ties with you without having to kill you. You getting hit by that car actually saved your life, luckyface.

Happy You Got Hit By A Car Day!