Friday, January 27, 2006

He Is A Scientist From The Past Day!

He built a time machine and is going to travel to the point in the future (today) when you have decided once and for all that you are giving up on men completely.

It will be very funny when the scientist turns on your blender and screams like a girl.

When the scientist appears in your living room, you'll be immediately struck by just how handsome he is. Then you'll run to the phone and call the police and have him arrested for attempted rape. While he's in prison, you'll wonder whether all that stuff he shouted about being from another time was true. Then you'll find something that he dropped that proves it's true. A gem or a vial of anti-syphilis cream or something. You'll run down to the station and (luckily, you're a hard-nosed prosecutor) get him set free with the charges dropped.

It will be very funny when the scientist sees an airplane and thinks it's a flying monster.

You and the scientist will make love for days and days and he'll treat you like a princess. Then he'll start to die because he can't handle the smog of modern times. You'll love him, but you'll have to lose him in order to keep him alive. Tell him to have many children in his time and maybe you'll meet one of his descendents in yours.

That's exactly what's going to happen this coming spring. You're going to be volunteering at an anti-air pollution organization and the man running the place will be the spitting image of the scientist. He'll ask whether he's met you before and you'll tell him, "In a way." Then you'll marry him and the two of you will devote your lives to cleaning up the air to make it safe for people from the past to time-travel to the present without dying of the carcinogens.

It will be very funny when the scientist tries to cross the street on a red light.

Happy He Is A Scientist From The Past Day!