Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Avalanche!!! Day!

Today, all and sundry will be covered in hundreds of feet of snow after your sister Christine hears her boyfriend whisper something in her ear that makes her exclaim. After sixteen winters on the mountain you'd think she'd know by now. No one ever ever raises his voice. Even if you see someone about to be shot and you wanna yell "duck." But whatever Jake whispered in her ear, it sure must have been something special because it made her forget sixteen years of her life. Her and her family have been keeping their voices down for such an extended period, a good many of their vocal chords have atrophied and it should honestly take a little effort for any of them to raise their voices, a little seek and find time while they look for those chords that can project a shout. Unless of course a puppy love of the caliber of Jake sends a sweet nothing into one of their ears, then they start screaming like babies apparently. I don’t know what specialness Jake panted to Christine, but I bet he's regretting it way down there underneath 100 feet of snow. Way to go, Romeo. Yes, we blame you Jake. Not Christine. It's a teenage girl's natural instinct to shout to the heavens when her loverboy is sweet to her. It is NOT, however, a teenage boy's natural instinct to be sweet to his girl. You two live on a mountain for fuck's sake. What are you afraid she's gonna find someone else? Play it cool next winter, thanks Jake.

Happy Avalanche!!! Day! (Jake told Christine she was sexier than Jessica Simpson)