Today, because you don't work, you'll dig out your Christmas decorations. Not to put them up yet. You start early but before Halloween is just silly. No, you'll make the excuse that you just want to see if there'll be anything you need to shop for when the time comes. In reality though, Christmas makes you happy. So you figured that it was worth a shot to look at some Christmas decorations if it might help you to not be so terribly sad.
Underneath the trays of ornaments and wrapped up in a tangled string of lights will be that fake twig of mistletoe that you always hang in the foyer. You'll hold that fake twig of mistletoe in your fingertips and you'll look back on all the boys from whom it won you a kiss. You'll go down the list of names, and you'll realize that you'd never kissed any of those boys. They're the names of boys you'd wished would kiss you under your mistletoe, but who had never been inside your house. You'll rack your brain to think of boys who had kissed you under the mistletoe, but there weren't any. You'll off yourself.
Happy Mistletoe Day!