Thursday, April 25, 2002

Eat Until You're Happy Day!

Do you live alone? Has it been years since you've felt that you could truly and wholly trust another? Do you feel frustrated, not only in your attempts to fulfill your creative and emotional needs with your career, but in your efforts to even know what those needs might be? Do your parents express indifference as to whether you might come and visit them once more before they die?

Well then, maybe you should eat more.

You'd be surprised how many people like yourself find temporary spiritual relief in eating. But if you just make that minimal effort to eat steadily during hours of consciousness, all that food might seep out of your belly and start to fill up that void in your soul.

"But whenever my belly digests the food I've eaten, all the hamburger buns and microwave burritos start seeping out of the hole in my existence and into my belly to be ground up into nutrients. How do I stop the digestive process?"

Unfortunately, your body keeps digesting food until you die. That's why you must never ever stop eating so that there's always more food on the way when your heart starts to implode in on its own hollowness. Just keep it stuffed up with mashed potatoes and you'll never feel the need to look any further than your kitchen cabinet for fulfillment.

Are you eating? I bet you feel better already don't you? Because today's Eat Until You're Happy Day! Hey, who's already forgotten about their libido?