Asshole #1: The White Stripes saved rock n' roll, man!
Asshole #2: Bullshit, the Strokes did!
Asshole #1: The Strokes sound like if Velvet Underground was hired to play at a high school sock hop!
Asshole #2: Oh yeah, well the White Stripes sound like a Led Zeppelin cover band playing nothing but Aerosmith songs.
Asshole #1: Oh please, the Strokes are a bunch of prep school poseurs!
Asshole #2: Talk about posing. At least the Strokes look good in their pose! Who'd wanna fuck a White Stripe?!
Narrator: (wearing a tan linen suit) Your handguns gentlemen.
Asshole #1: Oh yeah, thanks man.
Asshole #2: Yeah, thanks. Hey is this loaded?
(Narrator gives Asshole #2 a "look")
Asshole #1: So anyway, the White Stripes have that 70's energy. That rock n' roll swagger.
Asshole #2: Do not! The Strokes live off the smoke-filled air of Max's Kansas City.
Asshole #1: (sings) Yeah you're pretty good-lookin', for a girl...
Asshole #2: (sings louder) Laaast night, sheee said...
Narrator: (not wearing a Jeff Cap) Gentlemen. I believe it's time.
Asshole #1: Guess this is it, then.
Asshole #2: Yeah, man. It's been...I'm glad we did this, man.
SFX: Two Gunshots. Two thumps.
(Enter An Extremely Tall Man and a Midget who drag the bodies away by their ankles and argue hilariously over who has the heavier corpse to drag)
Happy Heatedly Debate Whether The Strokes Or The White Stripes Is The Better Band Until You Do Us All A Favor And Put A Fucking Bullet In Your Head Day!