“Good,” she’ll say. “Sounds like you fell in love with the wrong guy.”
Ask her to have some sympathy for you.
“The girls I have sympathy for are the ones who slide into a marriage like it was a pair of flannel lined pants. So easy and comfy. No one remembers being comfy. On your death bed you’ll remember this pain, and you’ll know you loved, little girl.”
You remember the phone call during which he told you he was lying to himself when he thought he could be with you, and you double over on the couch.
Your mom’s soap opera has been interrupted by a freeway chase. The cops are chasing after her new boyfriend, Harold, who’s driving your mom’s car.
“I really thought he might be the one,” she says.
You both eat ice cream while she watches the chase, yelling at the screen every time Harold sideswipes another motorist in her car.
Happy Tell Your Mom You Just Got Your Heart Broke Day!