Friday, February 19, 2016

Bottom Day!

Tell your man, “This won’t get any worse.”

He’ll say he doesn’t think it’ll get any better either.

“But if we are cool with this,” say, “At least we know we can count on it. Like, we can know that tomorrow will be like today. It won’t be worse than today. That’s nothing to sneeze at.”

“And it won’t be better,” he’ll say.

Ask him what his fascination with things getting better is.

“I just feel like I have potential for better,” he’ll say. “And this won’t fulfill that potential.”

Ooooooooh. Nooooow you realize the problem.

“I feel like i have potential for worse. Much…much worse!” you explain. “And this doesn’t feel like it will fill that potential.”

Tell him your potentials aren’t compatible.Tell him you need to go find someone who believes, like you, that everything could go crashing through the floor at any moment, then ask if you can borrow his Vespa.

“I just need to drive until I find him,” say.

He’ll give you the Vespa key and a last kiss.

Happy Bottom Day!