Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Your Hot Guy Boyfriend Is Human You Know Day!

Just because he’s hot you think he doesn’t need the same reassurance, the same emotional validation, that you need.

“Hot guys want your respect,” he’ll say with those thick, pouty lips, his dark, smoky eyes dimmed with sincerity. “Hot guys are architects. We’re lawyers. We’re teachers and abortionists and assassins. We contribute to society and we deserve to be taken seriously.”

Just then his hulking chest will force his shirt to pop open and you’ll faint from the orgasm you experience when you witness the sight of his chiseled torso.

He’ll wake you by sprinkling cold water on your face.

“This is what I’m talking about,” he’ll say, the sun behind him making him look like a hyper-masculine angel.

Say, “I’m sorry. I will do absolute anything to make it up to you.”

“Because you respect me for my intelligence and my point of view?” he’ll ask.

Lie to him and say yes. Don’t tell him it’s because the thought of not having access that mountain of muscled flesh makes you want to end it. So go along with him.

“Yes,” say without laughing. “It’s because I respect you so much.” Then invite one of your friends over who he hasn’t threesomed with already.

Happy Your Hot Guy Boyfriend Is Human You Know Day!