“Her name’s Jackson Hammer and she killed her kids, but she feels bad about it,” you tell your parents over dinner.
They have lots of questions. How did you meet (online) when does she get out (never), how was the ceremony conducted (prison web conference officiated by a virtual minister named “Marry-O”), have you sent her any money (lots), is she permitted conjugal visits (no, unfortunately), and does this mean you’re not dating that nice girl you met in the yearbook committee (broke up two months ago).
“No conjugal visits means the marriage can never be consummated,” your Dad says.
“Unless we help him bust her out!” your Mom adds.
The three of you retire to the living room to draw up plans for the most romantic jail break ever pulled off by a recently married high school kid and his parents.
Happy You Married Some Lady In Prison Day!
