Ask him if he remembers you and he’ll say he can’t talk right now he has a wife.
“But I’ve been drinking,” explain.
He’ll say he understands and he’s really sorry but he made a promise.
“I told her I’d be faithful,” he’ll say.
Explain to Alan that when he made the promise he couldn’t have known you’d call one night when you’ve been drinking. She’ll understand.
Alan will go to his wife and ask her if it’s cool if he breaks his vow of fidelity.
“An ex got drunk and it sounds like she’s down,” he’ll say.
“I guess you couldn’t have known way back when,” his wife will respond.
Alan will come back to the phone and shout, “I can sleep with you! She’s cool with it! Where do I find you?”
You fell asleep and the phone fell under your bed.
Happy Call Alan Day!