Sunday, June 03, 2012

Tell Him It’s Vengeance Day!

You’ve made your decision. You’re staying with Evan.

“Everything’s gray,” Jeff will say. “It’s like, the whole sky just went dark gray. How can you do this?”

Tell Jeff you must have experienced a brief period of insanity.

“Because of course you had to be insane to want to get back together with me,” Jeff will say.

Evan was being cold to you, explain. He was traveling and his phone calls were few and the few were also icy. And you were lonely, explain to Jeff, and so you ran back into a familiar embrace.

“You know this is cruel,” Jeff will tell you.

Tell him it’s vengeance.


Tell him you’re sitting in the exact same office, talking on the same phone you spoke on six months prior when Jeff called to tell you he wanted to end it. Tell him he was careless with your heart, and so he shouldn’t be surprised that you’re breaking his.

“Vengeance,” Jeff will repeat, doubtful.

Tell him again, yes, it’s vengeance.

“This wasn’t vengeance,” Jeff will say.

It wasn’t. It was the irresponsible actions of a confused, under-loved girl who was unhappy with her boyfriend, who is still far from happy with her boyfriend, so she slept with her ex. But don’t tell Jeff that. Tell him it’s vengeance.

“You’re not allowed to call me anymore,” Jeff will say, now with his voice low, a tone devoid of anything resembling affection. “You’re not to speak to me. You can’t email me when you’re alone or when Evan isn’t being nice to you. I’m not going to be your surrogate goddamn boyfriend.”

Tell him you deserve that.

“You deserve nothing,” Jeff will say.

You could explain to Jeff that had he decided he loved you while the two of you were together, instead of six months after he ended it, this wouldn’t be happening. But there isn’t time to explain. Jeff already hung up.

Tell Him It’s Vengeance Day!