Wednesday, February 08, 2012

The Guy Who Sells You Your Firewood Wants To Date Day!

He’s always seemed a little bit over-friendly, but he never had the nerve to say anything to you. So today instead of saying it out loud he decided to take a more covert approach. When you start loading your pieces of wood into the fireplace you’ll notice there’s some writing on one of them. It reads “Gay? Into me? Call me tonight.” Then his phone number. You’ll check the other pieces of wood and you’ll see he wrote the same on each. He must have spent all morning writing romantic overtures on pieces of wood waiting for you to come in.

Drive the wood back to his market and tell him that you aren’t gay and you’re not interested.

“But burning the wood with your number on it seemed harsh. Such a callous fire could never warm me. Please take this wood back and sell me some more.”

“But what am I supposed to do with this?” he’ll ask.

Tell him to save it for when the right man comes along. “Soon someone’s going to come in to buy some wood to keep warm, and you’ll know that what he really wants is to keep warm with you.”

He’ll smile and hand you another pile of wood. When you get it home you’ll see that written on each of the logs are the words “Thanks for being cool about this.” You’ll sit by the fire wondering exactly how much time your wood salesman spends writing notes on his wood in anticipation of messages he expects to give to customers, and whether it’s something to be concerned about.

Happy The Guy Who Sells You Your Firewood Wants To Date Day!