Friday, February 03, 2012

So Beautiful You’re Fired Day!

Today the sunset is going to get you fired.

“Everyone come in here,” your boss will shout to the floor. You’ll all crowd into the conference room that faces west, looking out over the water.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” your boss will say, referring to the sunset over the river.

You’ll all silently take it in, until your boss says, “Pam’s fired. Pack your shit Pam.”

You’re Pam. Ask him why.

“You have kids right? You have the most to lose? The beauty of the sunset demanded that someone pay. It had to be you Pam.”

Pack your stuff at your desk. Your coworkers will come by to say goodbye, trying to be sympathetic but ultimately telling you, “It really was a beautiful sunset. Someone had to eat it.”

Agree with them, then go home and tell your kids that you were laid off because the company got hit by the recession. They have no right to know how beautiful the sunset was that you saw today. They can work hard to climb up a skyscraper and see it for themselves, if they want to know so bad. They have no right to know a beauty so powerful it can send a family of three into poverty.

Happy So Beautiful You’re Fired Day!