Friday, July 31, 2009

There’s An Atheist In Your Foxhole Day!

After four days hiding from the shelling in your foxhole, some guy pokes his head in and says, “There is no God. Shove over.”

You shove over, then you say, “I thought there weren’t any atheists in foxholes.”

The guy says there’s one in this foxhole so guess that settles that. “Also, your whole religion is a fairy tale,” he says. “Old guy with a beard sittin’ on a cloud givin’ a crap about your life. GIVE ME A BREAK!”

You ask him what God ever did to him and he says, “He took my wife and kids away from me. Couldn’t believe in the guy after that.”

You start to ask him how it happened, but he doesn’t get the chance to tell you about the drunk driver who crashed into his car. The whistle of a bomb streaks undeniably straight for your location, and without thinking the atheist pulls you on top of him and shields himself from the explosion with your body. You’re killed instantly and the atheist decides God delivered you unto him so that you could give your life to spare his and his belief in and love for God is restored. And thus your death was necessary to keep that “No Atheists In Foxholes” rule alive and well. You’d agree it was worth it if your torso wasn’t soup right now.

Happy There’s An Atheist In Your Foxhole Day!