Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Dear Mountaineer Day!

You’ve been having trouble with your Mom lately, so you decided to write to your favorite nationally syndicated column, “Dear Mountaineer.” Your letter was published today! Check it out…

Dear Mountaineer,

My Mom says I’m too old to live in her house anymore. I’m forty-four. My Dad’s dead so it’s not like she doesn’t need a man around. Why is she being such an asshole?

-Mama’s Boy

Dear Mama’s Boy,

Your Mom is experiencing what we mountaineers call “Altitude Sickness.” Hope this helped.

-The Mountaineer.

The great thing about the Mountaineer is, you can tell by his prose that he really does hope he helped. If he didn’t, it’s a shame because the mountaineer has a strict policy of cutting people off after a single correspondence. You can’t be weighed down with a lot of letters when you’ve got the summit in sight.

Happy Dear Mountaineer Day!