Monday, June 25, 2007

Anonymous Donor Day!

Today you are the extremely wealthy individual who makes all those anonymous donations to people whose tragedies and acts of heroism capture the nation’s attention. It’s a busy job. Today alone you have to send a year’s supply of diapers to the woman who had quintuplets, you have to buy a first class ticket so that a man traveling for work in Peru can make it home for the funeral of his wife and four sons (they all fell down a well), and you have to send another $25,000 check to subway hero Wesley Autrey (he’s basically living off of an anonymously donated allowance now). Sometimes you get a little selfish and you wonder why you shouldn’t just hoard all your money and pass it along to your kids. But people need to believe that there are rich people out there who can’t help but just send out cash to people who get interviewed on Good Morning America. Even if you’re the only one doing it, as long as it gets reported on TV, people will still have something to hope for. When they’ve suffered the most tragic of tragedies, your generosity will send them to the mailbox every day hoping against hope to find a big fat check in there, signed “Anonymous” (you legally changed your name to Anonymous a couple of years back because your work is your life).

Happy Anonymous Donor Day!