Thursday, October 14, 2004

Quit Your Band Day!

Your band is terrible and it's not going to go anywhere. Quit. Here's how:

First, tell the band's leader that you hate him and if you don't quit now you're going to hold him up against a well, aim your dick up at his face and piss into his nostrils.

Second, tell the bass player that he might be the least talented musician you've ever met, and he deserves to have his nostrils pissed in.

Next, tell the drummer you've been sleeping with his girlfriend, and you're in love with her. "She likes it when I piss in her nostrils." Shrug in a "the heart wants what it wants" kind of way.

Fourth, get into a small struggle with the lead guitarist, fall to the ground and cry.

Fifth, leave in tears. The kind of middle-school fight-shock tears that bellow out of you and really have nothing to do with physical pain.

Finally, go home and let your new girlfriend care for you, then piss in her nostrils. Don't tell her that you quit the band, because she only dates boys in bands.

Happy Quit Your Band Day!