Friday, October 22, 2004

Backrub Train Day!

The backrub train of 1995 stretched from border to border across the state of Delaware, with 739 backs getting deliciously kneaded within the Southeastern tip of Pennsylvania.

"We can cover Delaware," you think. "But our overspill might not hit 739. Atkins has really shrunk folks down."

Is that the organizer of the Rhode Island Hands Across America branch that's telling me "I can't?" Could it be? Could it be the same man who stretched a girl-on-girl oral sex daisy chain around the perimeter of the Grand Canyon in 1979 is calling it quits?

"You're right. 800 backs will be rubbed in Pennsylvania tomorrow morning. We've got the recruitment push, we've got the massage oils. Goddammit, we've got the goods."

There goes the best Guy-Who-Can-Make-A-Lot-Of-People-Do-Shit-In-A-Single-File-Line there ever was.

Happy Backrub Train Day!