Thursday, October 21, 2004

Christianity Time Day!

Your son's six. It's time to teach him about Jesus Christ.

Give a knock on his door, then poke your head in. He'll be playing with a Spiderman doll.

"Hey kid," say to him. "Guess what time it is."

"Roundhouse uppercut right to the stuffed hippo that we'll hang from the drop ceiling time?" he'll ask. His name's Greg, your son.

"Nope, that time's come and gone," say.

Greg will shrug, giving up the guessing game. Walk to the side of his bed and look down at his eyes gravely.

Say, "It's Christianity time."

Greg will say, "Aw yeah."

"Were you waiting for this talk?" ask.

"The kids at school have been talking a lot about Jesus Christ," Greg will say. "And I felt left out because I didn't know who he was."

Sit down on the edge of his bed and say, "I'm sorry kid. I've just been so busy at work."

"It made me feel really sad and alone. Not knowing who Jesus Christ was, I mean," Greg will say.

"Well I'm gonna tell you who he was so stop it with the guilt trip," say.

Greg will lean back on his heels and fold his arms in front of him in that adorable "I'm listening" posture. It kind of pisses you off a little, really.

Tell it to him thusly: "Jesus Christ was the nicest person in all of humanity. He could turn water into wine and rocks into money. He could tell the future, and he couldn't die. He's the reason you're here today. Because without him, there wouldn't even be a planet, because he fought off the alien worms."

Then take his hands and place them in front of him, palms together. Say, "This is what it looks like when you believe in Jesus Christ." Then run, he'll never be able to catch you.

Happy Christianity Time Day!