Monday, October 11, 2004

Deflate The Baby Day!

You and Sarah decided around fourteen months ago that before you decided to have a baby together, it might be a good idea to try to take care of a "pretend" baby, like you did in high school. But instead of caring for a sack of flour, you chose the inflatable "Bumble Bee" swimming pool toy, because it's lighter.

The exercise went downhill once Sarah developed an addiction to Percoset. You've cared for her through these months, you've been washing the bedsheets regularly. About a month ago, though, you decided you and Sarah were done for. You're tired of trying to get her to eat.

Cleaning out the space between the couch and the endtable, you find your "baby," the Bumble Bee toy. It's semi-deflated and it's still smiling. Pull the cork on the air valve. Once it's completed empty of air, it will still be smiling. Stash the deflated baby underneath the sink.

Happy Deflate The Baby Day!