Tie A Mask Around Your Eyes Day!
You feel pretty awful starting work as a paperboy at the age of 33. But there's no reason why you can't make something completely new of it. And tying a mask around your eyes is a perfect way to do that. This way, when kids on their ay to school see you pushing your shopping cart full of papers and they ask, "You're the paperboy?!"
You can respond, "I am The Masked Paperboy! Every morning I shall bring the news to my fellow townsfolk, anonymously feeding people's hearts and minds with objective facts."
"Do you write what's in the paper?" the kids will ask.
The kids will walk away giggling. One will say, "I didn't know Donny's brother was retarded."
You're Donny's brother.
Happy Tie A Mask Around Your Eyes Day!