Thursday, September 30, 2004

Drive Drunk To The Airport Day!

You'll barely make it there alive. You'll circle the terminals around twelve times over because you won't have the clarity of mind needed to change lanes. You'll finally pull over in front of the correct terminal and go inside to the baggage carousel.

Your sister will be sitting the edge of an empty carousel, talking into her cell phone. Talking to your mom probably, asking where the hell you are. Stagger to her.

"Hey Eve," you'll say.

"Forget it, he's here," she'll say before clapping her phone shut. "What the hell took you so long?"

"I got…oh you know." You'll pick up one of her bags and it will throw you off balance.

"What the fuck?" she'll ask. "Mom sent you out driving like this?"

"She's a lot worse off than me," you'll say. "You should probably drive home. I'm lucky to have made it here."

Your sister will grab her bag back from you and she'll march through the sliding doors. She'll ask you where the car is, and it won't take long for her to gather that you parked it in a tow away zone and it's presently being torn apart and searched by an explosives team. Your Mom's is a one-car household, so your sister is going to have to pay 78 dollars for a cab ride. This will of your Dad's better be a pretty good fucking read.

Happy Drive Drunk To The Airport Day!