Friday, September 03, 2004

Pull The Fire Alarm Day!

There's not much time. Yank that handle down. You'll find out whether it's true that your hand gets sprayed with ink so that authorities can determine who it was that pulled the alarm.

Look at your hand and say, "Well waddaya know."

Your coworkers will be milling absently towards the fire exit. Go to Kara's desk and whisper through the thick of her hair and into her ear, "This isn't a drill. Don't cause a panic, just come with me."

Lead her (by the hand) to a non-designated fire stair, one where it's just the two of you.

"Will this get us to the sidewalk," she'll ask.

Stop on the stairs and say, "Who cares?"

She'll say, "The fire."

Say, "What? Oh, there's no fire. I pulled the alarm. I needed to get you alone so I could present my case for why you should leave your husband and kids and marry me."

She'll lean back against the wall of the stairwell, her arms crossed, and she'll say, "I'm listening."

Breathe deep and lay it on her. "I just think we've got something here. A connection. Am I wrong?"

Kara will take a second to consider your proposal. Say, "Goddammit the suspense is killing me! Yes or no!"

She'll say, "I need some time. I really dig my husband and kids. And I never noticed that connection thing you mentioned. But I have to admit, it was romantic of you to pull a fire alarm just to get me alone."

Get closer to her, and in a soft voice say, "I had no choice but to get you alone. I was too afraid of being laughed at by Dave (the loudmouth temp)." Say this whilst grazing your thumb along the circumference of where you estimate her right areola to be underneath her sweater.

She'll begin to pant. Then she'll push you away, telling you she needs to make a list of the pros and cons.

Happy Pull The Fire Alarm Day!