Lou Rawls Day!
Lou Rawls told his wife, "She's not gonna bother us anymore."
His wife didn't say anything.
Lou Rawls told her again, "She's not gonna bother us anymore, I said."
His wife nodded at the table. Lou said, "You got nothing to say then?"
His wife just kept looking at the toaster. Lou Rawls went into the living room, rustled his newspaper on his lap, and began his new life, a life undisturbed by an infidelity. But just before it began, he shouted to his wife, "I killed her!"
His wife ran into the living room, saying, "Thanks a lot for protecting me, Douche!"
"What," said Lou Rawls. "You don't wanna know about it? Don't wanna know that it takes a murder to keep this marriage from falling apart?"
"Now I'm an accomplice," she shouted at Lou Rawls. "This is just like you. Far be it from you to suffer in silence to protect me. With you it's all about Look at all the sacrifices I've made for you. As if I should feel guilty just for having accepted your wedding proposal. You never made any sacrifices, just excuses. Every choice you ever made was an excuse to get outta doin' what you really wanted to do."
"Fuck you!" said Lou Rawls. And they fought on and on like that, like they do every night.
Happy Lou Rawls Day!