More and more dead hippies are pouring out of the sewers into the bay. They all of them have dollar signs carved into the back of their heads. As Chief of the Coast Guard, it's your responsibility to make sure an investigation gets underway. But no one will listen.
You told the Chief of Police about it when you, he, and the Chief of the Fire Department met for your Thursday dinner. All he said was, "Hippies. Whoopdie do!" Then he pulled you in real close and told you it's an election year.
The only other two people you told are your wife and the President of the United States. But your wife thinks you're a failure and hasn't listened to a word you've said since 1980. All the president said was, "My hands are tied!" Then he pointed to a chalkboard that had the word "Deficit" written on it in big letters.
The going is rough, but you can't give up. Even if you have to spraypaint it onto the face of every child, you must make it known that the hippies are dying. They're almost people too.
Happy Hippies Day!