Some Girls Are More Amenable To Committing Suicide Than Others Day!
You really really really want your girlfriend to kill herself. You've had the big day for your own suicide circled on your calendar for six months now. All that time, all you had to do is look up at that circle around September 20th, 2003, and think "Few more weeks and good bye to my heartache and misery and always having to pee at movies."
But then you went and fell in love and grew conflicted. You still want to die, no question. But this chick, she's way fucking hot and when she speaks it's like she's reading the story written on your soul and shit. When it comes down to it, you don't want to be without her. If you kill yourself and she keeps on living, she'll probably start seeing someone else and you can't handle that. But suicide is your lifelong dream. You can't stay alive just because someone else wants to. Follow. Your. Bliss.
What has to happen is you just have to come right out and ask her if she wants to kill herself with you. A lot of girls are into things you never would have guessed they'd be into. Approach the question with some caution, and if she says yes, don't act like she's some kind of a slut all of a sudden. But if she says no, take the circle off the calendar. No one who's in love ever kills himself unless he's in love with someone who doesn't love him back, or his parents are dicks about it. If she says no, you're just going to have to wait until you don't love her anymore 11 months from now.
Happy Some Girls Are More Amenable To Committing Suicide Than Others Day!