Give A Boy A Box Of Hearts Day!
You can make hearts out of anything. You can carve a heart out of soap, fat candles, apples, a sponge, a rubber ball, a block of wood, and a book. You can build a heart from paper, clay, lots of rubber, melted plastic if you're fast, cardboard, pills glued to a Chutes and Ladders playing board, human tissue, and human hair. You can steal a heart from a girl, a boy, a man or a woman. You can surgically remove a heart from pigs and kangaroos only. You can buy shirts with hearts on them in New York City. In February, you can buy hearts made out of chocolate. In January, you can draw a heart on the wall behind your pillow, lay down in bed below the heart pretending to sleep, and have a friend take a polaroid. In March, you cannot.
Take all the hearts you can build, buy, steal or lift from a chest cavity, put them all in a box and give them to the boy you think is cute. He'll think you're cute too.
Happy Give A Boy A Box Of Hearts Day!