Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Express Disapproval Of The Existence Of Your Red-Headed Step-Child Day!
Whether you're married to the sweetheart or you are just living with the cutie pie because he or she gets bigtime disability and doesn't mind that you turned the kitchen into a meth lab, love is love. And love means warts and all.

Well no one likes to be reminded that their best guy or gal was once involved with someone who had red hair, which is why it turns the stomach to see the progeny of that relationship walking past the tv with a stack of oreos in his or her freckled little hands. It's like the sun-stained little urchin's very existence sends rasberries into your face with chants of "My Mommy/Daddy fucked a redhead so hard their coarse thrusting resulted in all 75 pounds of unholy me that stands before you drinking a cup of grape juice. Look at my red hair! No one would ever mistake me for your child! I am proof that your lover had sex with someone else in the past, at least once though probably a lot of times, because you have to have sex with millions of people before you finally look at someone with red hair and say to yourself, 'What the heck. Might make for a funny story at least.'"

Well then, why not let your red-headed step-child know you would prefer that he or she had never been born. Hitting works. But locking the beast in the closet can really send a message as well, though if you do that often enough the Damien will be expecting it so he or she will start stashing some toys in there to play with the next time. Oh, that's a good one too, breaking the little monster's favorite toy I mean. You do drink, don't you?