Thursday, March 29, 2007

Teach The Kids What’s Right And Wrong Day!

Today you’re going to be walking down an alley looking for someone to party with when you'll spot two kids who have trapped a skinny gray cat in a corner. You’ll hang back for a second just to see if they’re gonna do anything funny to the cat, then you’ll be horrified when they take out a book of matches and a hairspray can. One of the kids will light a match, then he’ll send a stream of hairspray through the flame trying to make a blow torch aimed at the cat. Luckily the spray will just blow out the flame and end up spraying the cat’s fur with hairspray. You’ll run over to stop them.

“Hey kids,” say. “Setting cats on fire is wrong!”

One of the kids will ask, “Why is your head bleeding?”

You’ll say, “What?”

The other kid will ask, “Oh my God are you gonna die?”

You’ll say, “What?”

The kids will look at you for another second, scared. Then they’ll look at each other and run away. You’ll drop to your knees in front of the cat, woozy. You’ll touch your fingers to your head and feel the blood pouring down from your scalp. You’ll try to remember if you got into a fight or got jumped, but nothing will come. Then everything will go black and you’ll fall forward onto the ground. The stray cat will step across your back and walk away, its fur held perfectly in place.

Happy Teach The Kids What’s Right And Wrong Day!