The first time your dermatologist offered you a handjob, you were thrown.
"I've got a good practice here," she said. "But the HMO's make it next to impossible for a doctor to make over $400,000 a year. Anyway, gimme 75 bucks and I"ll finish you off."
You argued that most massage parlors charge far less, but your dermatologist countered that she knows a thing or two about skin. "Nerve endings are very cliquish," she said. "They like to gather in groups. I went to school for six years to learn where to find them."
You gave her the 75 and it was worth every penny. For a while there, you looked forward to your dermatologist appointment like it was prom night. However, while you've felt a great deal more relaxed, your acne has been getting worse. Your dermatologist has been keeping her office open until 4 AM to cater to the strip club crowd and compete with the massage parlors and whorehouses. As a result, she doesn't pay attention to your complexion as much as she used to.
"I think I might need to see another dermatologist," tell her today.
"I don't blame you," she'll say. "Honestly, I bet I'm just making things worse for you considering where my hands have been. But man, this handjob racket really pays the bills."
"Speaking of handjobs, can I still come back and get them? I mean, can I just pay you the seventy five bucks without the copay for the checkup?"
"Sure thing," your dermatologist will say.
"Can I have one now?" ask her.
"Sure thing," your dermatologist will say. Then she'll jerk you off.
Happy Dermatologist Appointment With A Happy Ending Day!
