Wednesday, January 24, 2007

She Loves You Too Much Day!

Your girlfriend broke another one of your ribs. When she comes to your hospital bed, tell her she needs to control herself.

"What the fuck!" she'll argue. "Can I help it if I love you enough that I always end up squeezing the shit out of you? Jesus, now I'm getting shit for loving my man. Fucking hell." In her anger, she'll throw a chair against the wall and it will shatter into pieces on the floor.

"Fuck! Now where the fuck do I sit?"

She'll be upset about having no place to sit, so she'll kick the frame of your bed and knock it out of whack so that the automatic recline doesn't work anymore.

"Oh great. Does nothing in here work? Jesus fucking Christ."

Your girlfriend will punch a hole in the wall. She'll break two fingers and you'll summon a nurse to take her someplace to get a cast.

"I love you. DON'T FORGET THAT!" she'll bark. Just smile and tell her you love her too. Don't ask her to change anymore. Your girlfriend is really strong and she loves the living shit out of you. Be careful.

Happy She Loves You Too Much Day!