Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Big Poker Game Day!

Tonight at the big poker game, things will get out of hand and when you bet your solid gold watch, Manny will see you by betting his seventeen year old son, Nicky. You'll win with four jacks.

"I'll bring him over on Saturday," Manny will say.

"Now, Manny," you'll say. "I had my watch ready to hand over. Go get your son. I want him in my possession in one hour or you welched."

An hour later, Manny will bring you Nicky and you�ll take him home to your place. You'll set up the pull-out.

"How long do I have to live here with you?" Nicky will ask.

"Until your Dad wins you back," you'll say. "In other words, forever!" You'll go to bed laughing so hard you won't even hear Nicky crying in the living room.

Nicky has his SAT test this weekend, but the move will have his head so messed up that he'll get very poor scores and he won't go to college. Instead he'll get some girl pregnant not long before he graduates high school and the two of them will end up taking crap jobs and scrounging for money. They'll borrow from you more times than you can count, and "borrow" never means they're planning to pay you back. Eventually he'll ask you to hook him up with a score.

"If you hadn't won me, my life wouldn't be so screwed up right now," he'll say.

"You mean, if your real Dad hadn't lost you!" you'll argue. But Nicky will just stare at you and wait. With him staring like that, you won't be able to deny that you owe him something.

"Goddamn I wish your Daddy was better at cards," you'll say.

So you'll bring Nicky in on your scheme to rob a diamond store on the day the diamonds are delivered (best day to rob them because they haven't sold any of the diamonds yet. They're all there!) Nicky will screw up and start shooting. The guards in the store will open fire and you'll take one in the chest.

With your last breath, you'll say to Nicky, "I'm glad your Dad wasn't better at cards Nick. Otherwise, I never would'a got hold of you, and I never would've won the best years of my life." Then you'll die.

Happy The Big Poker Game Day!