Wednesday, May 17, 2006

You Are A Navy Seal Day!

Today, you are a Navy Seal and your son's dog is dying of liver failure. You've already talked to your son about what has to happen, and he's come to terms with the fact that Corky is in a lot of pain and the best thing that can be done is to help her pass on into the next world. He's said goodbye, and now it's up to you to put Corky down.

This is the hard part. Being that you know over 200 ways to take a life, you just can't decide how to take Corky out. You could snap the dog's neck. Or you could slam the ball of your palm into her snout and drive the bone of her snout into her brain. Then again, a knife slides through the back of a dog�s neck like it was butter. She wouldn't feel a thing. The blood can be a little much though. Maybe you should rile her up until she's barking so that you can get the sole of your boot stuck in her mouth, then you just have to stamp the boot on the ground and split the dog's head open. Trouble is, Corky is so weak she can't even bark. You might want to just open up one of her arteries and let her bleed herself to sleep.

Gosh, with every idea at least five alternatives pop up right along with it. You're just like those overeducated grad school kids who just stay in school because they can't figure out what to do with all that knowledge. Except a student staying in grad school can't be held responsible for making an animal continue to live in excruciating pain you indecisive monster.

Happy You Are A Navy Seal Day!