Calibrate The Love Ray Day!
It's time to exact your luscious justice upon a fast devolving society. You've spent many years and sacrificed many lives trying to obtain the nuclear components necessary to adequately power your Love Ray. If calculations are correct, the activated Love Ray should fire a current of your droopy-eyed affections that will permeate the loins of every living thing on the face of the earth within a matter of seconds.
Go and stand on a mountaintop and say, "Soon, my Love Ray will circle the globe. Everyone on the planet will become consumed with that special something of mine that makes the ladies go 'Heck yeah.' As of tomorrow, human beings will stop waging war on each other so that they can get to the rubbing up against each other faster."
Start to climb down the mountain, then climb back up to add one more thing. "Terrorism will stop too. Everyone hates terrorism."
Now, climb all the way down the mountain and steer your pod under the riverbed to your laboratory deep under the surface of the earth. Calibrate your Love Ray so that tomorrow at 9 AM it'll be ready to start spraying the boogie.
Happy Calibrate The Love Ray Day!